Well it's been five weeks now . . .

...five weeks that we've been here in the True North Strong and Humid. While we've been busy playing in the sandbox with Eily (Gabriela) and doing headstands (me) in yoga class, we've noticed a few things that are different about Canada (specifically Southern Ontario) and Haiti. Yeah yeah, you know these all already: snow, smog, and public bathrooms so we won't bore you with that except to say how blessed we feel to go to the park, the library, ON A BIKE TRAIL! and eat crunchy fruit (apples!!! even if out of season).

What I wrote to tell you is not how Canada is different but how one little Canadian's heart has grown fonder and wider by being away. Of course, over time WHEREVER you might be, things change: Nalgene bottles get banned, babies are born, and car seats are upgraded. And had I been here, I would have changed anyway - turning 30 and becoming a Mama. But I'd like to attribute some of these changes to my dear Haiti and in our case, our "baby" and our Haiti which are welded together.

Here's some of the ways that i am a different Canadian than i was before i left for Haiti:

• I don't plan very well.
• I am better at SHARING- this means food but also the workload and this didn't come easy as our 4 maids (combined over Senegal and Haiti) would be able to tell you how many times i asked them to make a salad or mop the porch and then proceeded to make it or mop it myself or stand over them apologizing while they do it. So I'm getting better at not doing everything! wheh!
  
• I CAN arrive empty-handed and think it's good enough that i've/we've just showed up. (Although I've noticed that i'm a little surprised that people aren't more visibly happy that we've come. Haitians share with Africans well, Senegalese Africans, incredible hospitality.)
• I lay in the grass b/c there's a sign telling me there's no pesticides and and because we miss that grass.
  
• I have LESS stuff. I like giving stuff away more.
  
• I buy less stuff. I care less about what it looks like and MORE about who made it and with what.
• I denied this at first but i'm late. I leave for an event when it starts WITHOUT even referring to a clock. And the best part, i don't even get stressed out.
• I DON'T get mad when the Thai restaurant forgets to pack my jackfruit milkshake or when my friend in Colorado's phone dies in mid-conversation. (I've had three year's practice of letting it go).
• I look black people in the eye when we cross on the street and i smile and i sometimes i ask THEM for directions and we feel awesome.
• I look at a hamburger and wonder where on a cow it comes from.
• I'd rather eat a cricket than a veggie dog b/c at least i know what it is and NO, we don't eat crickets in Haiti and neither do any Haitians.
• TV ? ? ?
  
• I am inordinately surprised at the speed at which juice appears in a glass in front of me. When the glass hits the table, I realize that I was somewhere in another world looking up for the tree with the fruit.
• I speak Creole. I often can't think of the word and i make spelling mistakes in my beautiful and non-fonetik mother tongue (English). I went into a bike store and asked "do you have a child seat that goes devan?" (devant or in the front).
  
• I take cold showers. And by the way, it's an ancient piece of yoga knowledge that cold showers, even in cold climates, improve circulation and strengthen nervous and immune systems not to mention energize you and feel awesome (after the first few days). But Gabriela didn't need anyone to tell her this- she still won't get in the tub but bathes herself by herself in a bucket in the backyard.
• 

So we did pretty well in 3 years depending on how you look at it. And, yes, we're all entitled to a little ethnocentricity now and again, if for nothing else but survival....
OR fear that the earth might have a diversity carrying capacity and we're just about at the LIMIT
OR fear that we might just have to accept others and their cultures as just as good as ours
OR fear that we might have to share

I've been checking the toys stores around here b/c there are some in the neighbourhood and all the toys are lovely and green and all the kids in the toys look like me (when i was a kid). I came out of one the other day and out of nowhere this came into my head "if you're not Dutch, you're not much" and I also remembered how cool it was to be Dutch when i was a kid and how cool Holland is and how I never felt anything less than pride when people ask where my last name comes from. Those were and are the strong roots on which I grew. And then i was momentarily gripped with anxiety at the thought of someone asking Gabriela where she is from and will she be proud to say "I'm Haitian"???? even after she reads "Haiti, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere..." for the 50th time? And what if she is proud, what will be the reaction of one who asks her? Or what if someone, e.g. Gabriela finds out that i just adopted her b/c I'm fascinated with other cultures and b/c i was couldn't relax enough to get pregnant? but then I was like "CHILL OUT LADY! . . . Remember, you're not making the plan!" And then i was okay b/c i remembered that i'm NOT EVEN TRYING to make the plan. And while we're talking about it (the plan) let me say how much i LOVE how it's turning out, how much I LOVE having Haitian friends who teach me all kind of new things that i never even knew I needed to learn. And how much I ADORE having a Haitian daughter and how much I can't wait to see what else she teaches me. (I wouldn't have been able to make a plan this good). And how happy i am to live in a multicultural country. And how many years, i wonder, would I have to spend in Haiti to be able to face "Haiti, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere..." with a grin instead of burning the sides of my soul. And how long is it going to take until we realize that we are all rich and we are all poor. We are all proud. We are all a little ashamed. We are ALL.

joy

pee

Second PM Designate Rejected

Preval's second choice for Prime Minister has been rejected by parliament. Haiti is now two months into a political deadlock. Many programs run by the respective ministries are handcuffed and getting new projects off the ground is next to impossible. People are frustrated, especially since these politicians are engaging in a useless power struggle. Tet charje!

M

PORT-AU-PRINCE, 12 juin 2008 (AFP) - Le parlement haïtien a voté jeudi pour déclarer "inéligible" le Premier ministre désigné Robert Manuel, choisi par le président René Préval.

Après deux heures de débat, l'assemblée a voté par 57 voix contre 22 et 6 abstentions en faveur de la recommandation d'une commission parlementaire, chargée d'étudier le dossier du Premier ministre désigné Robert Manuel, qui avait auparavant déclaré "inéligible" le choix du président René Préval.

La commission est composée de sept membres représentant les différents partis politiques haïtiens siégeant au Parlement.

C'est la deuxième fois que le choix d'un nouveau Premier ministre par le président René Préval est rejeté. Dans un premier temps, René Préval avait désigné un ami personnel, Ericq Pierre, au poste de Premier ministre, mais ce choix avait été rejeté par la chambre basse du Parlement haïtien.

Le 26 mai, René Préval avait ensuite choisi Robert Manuel, une autre personnalité très proche de lui.

cre/ms/cel

© 1994-2008 Agence France-Presse

Peaceful Protest (??)

A peaceful march has been called for today in downtown Haiti. Civil society groups have been mobilizing for the last few days to have people come out and protest against the increasing levels of insecurity in the country - especially kidnapping. There have been a few high profile kidnappings, including the young Canadian woman and a number of young students, including a 16 year old who was brutally murdered. We've noticed a rise in insecurity in our target areas at work, and have even considered pulling out of one particularly challenging area - as a pressure tactic to get the police and MINUSTAH to maintain pressure on gangs and criminals.

At the same time, parliament is in the middle of processing Robert Manuel, the Prime Minister nominated by Preval. It's really unclear if he will be approved by the Senate and Parliament. Some have suggested that Preval would not have nominated him without securing support beforehand, while others have been extremely critical, especially since Manuel is so close to the President.

Hunger and food insecurity remains a huge issue. Money is pouring into Haiti right now. I only hope it gets used effectively, with long-term investments in agriculture and not just simple, quick fixes. If history is any indication, this will be a challenge.

Today's march is a big deal. I hope it can be pulled off without any incidents of violence. Standing up to criminals and kidnappers is not an easy task. People are very afraid because these people wield tremendous power and are tied to people with even more (social, economic and political) power.

I'll let you know how it goes . . . mvg.

Lonely

It's late . . . I'm staying up to find out who wins Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. I'm hoping for the Penguins. It's into the second overtime now. As I sit here aimlessly meandering around the internet, mostly reading things on Haiti, I'm amazed at all the good people there are in the world. We've written before about our frustration with the bad rap that Haiti gets. We have another post in the works on that, based on the recent kidnapping of the young woman from Canada (she was released late last week). So when I read through the blogs of many of the people living and working here in Haiti, I'm thankful that there are people who genuinely love and care for a place like Haiti. You have to have lived in Haiti to understand its absurd reality, the strange mix of beauty and pain, and the daily reminder of the value of life and love in the face of deep poverty.

On another topic, I've been thinking a lot about loneliness. Frankly, it sucks. Esther and Gabriela have been in Canada for a few weeks now . . . and I can't really say that I've enjoyed it. I miss Gabriela like crazy. Esther too of course, but I so miss Gabriela. Sure, its been nice to have some freedom and time on my own, but evenings and weekends have been dreadfully boring. I've fallen into bad habits . . . like staying up late surfing the net, watching too many movies, and eating crappy food. I'm embarrassed to admit that I had macaroni and cheese (not KD) for dinner last night. Esther would kill me! Before they left, I thought a lot about what I wanted to do with this time. I haven't gotten there yet, but I'm working on it. So yeah, loneliness - I think I might have more to say on that in the future. In the meantime, I'm gonna get my ass in gear and start on spanish lessons and try to do some woodworking!

Random addition: I think I've mentioned my friend Kurt here once or twice. He has a great post about a bathroom door meeting with Bill Clinton! Oh that it were true . . .

It's now the end of the second overtime and I can't stay up anymore. My empty bed awaits.

making music with Mendelt and Zekijah

GREAT to see you M and Z

telling stories to great uncle Jerry and greatest aunt Henny in downtown Grimsby

Oma and G

fun times at Evergreen Terrace, Grimsby, May 25, 2008

first impressions of Canada 1....SAFETY FIRST

Eily....LOOK OUT! It's Gabu the Affectionate

Gabu meets Kaia

cousins

bizou for Gabriela
from Eily

ON THE WAY TO CANADA!!!

Esther and Gabriela are on the way to Canada!!!!!

Esther got the visa at the Canadian embassy this morning at about 9:30, rushed to the airport and got on standby. It wasn't until the very last minute that they got a ticket - she said she was the LAST person to get a ticket on the standby list. She then rushed through immigration, security and almost straight on to the plane! Then I quickly bought a ticket for them online for the Montreal to Toronto portion. Gabriela will touch Canadian soil for the first time around 6:20 tonight, then in Toronto around 11. Our cousin Dan is picking them up and bringing them to Amaryah's house in KW.

I can honestly say that these have been three of the craziest and most stressful days of our lives. Last night was nice because we had some friends over to relax a bit, but I feel like I haven't slept in a week. It's a miracle that we got everything done, a real, genuine miracle. Thanks so much to all of your for your notes, thoughts and prayers. It all made a difference for us.

For those of you who will be seeing Gabriela for the first time, enjoy!!!!! I miss them already, but we'll be together in July, probably in Vancouver.

Love,

Matt (and Esther and Gabriela who are somewhere over the Caribbean right now!)

Gabriela's Visa!!!

Just got news from Esther that she has the Canadian visa for Gabriela! Late yesterday the embassy asked her to come back this morning because "they had a few questions." We weren't sure what that meant, but our guess was that they just wanted to make sure Gabriela was coming back to Haiti - because she is going on a "tourist" visa and not an immigrant visa, like most adopted kids. Since we plan on staying in Haiti, that wasn't a problem and they gave her a multiple entry visa for the next 18 months, which is plenty of time for us to work out her Canadian citizenship and get her on a Canadian passport. And she can travel freely back and forth to Canada.

Now . . . Esther is at the airport trying to get a ticket. Air Canada flies Tuesdays and Air Transat Wednesdays, both direct to Canada thus avoiding travel through the states (which is another visa). She is on the standby list for Air Transat today and we should know by noonish if they are going to get on. Gabriela is home with Martha (her nanny) and we have a ride arranged for Gabriela to get to the airport.

We are very hopeful and thankful that this is all falling into place. I will feel much better when I get the call saying they have a ticket . . . and I'll let you know when I know!

M

PASSPORT!!!

here's the news from here:
We have the passport!

We have a meeting tomorrow morning at the Canadian Embassy- they know our case (they looked at it today) but they want to meet with me tomorrow...we don't know exactly why but they may want to make sure we're not going to stay in Canada on a visitors VISA. So that's not a problem b/c we're coming back home to this sunshine! Keep the prayers rising...we're getting on a plane tomorrow!

in between cultures

We're coming to Canada TOMORROW si Bondye vle (if God wills it), or maybe Friday but soon anyway-- one two all three of us (eventually) for an extended visit! . . . here’s what we’re looking forward to and what we’re going to miss too, in random order!

just before those, here's what Wikipedia says about our trip. . .
!!!!! Reverse Culture Shock - Returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one characterized by anxiety and feelings of surprise, disorientation, confusion, etc. felt when people trying to operate within an entirely different cultural or social environment. These feelings are often combined with strong feelings (moral or aesthetical) about certain aspects of the old culture. The term was introduced for the first time in 1954 by Kalervo Oberg.

Esther- YAAY for blueberries , not being the centre of attention, library, bicycling, seeing many of you, and meeting my many nephews and Isabel

Gabriela- WOO HOO for travelling (so far she loves it), meeting the people that Mama and Papa have been showing me in the photos, ? ? ? ?

Matt (who staying in Haiti May-June but coming to visit in July!)- YIPPEE for getting more sleep, pursuing some hobbies (maybe woodworking, maybe Spanish) meeting Esther & Gabriela in Vancouver

and here’s what we’re going to be sad about:

Esther- MISSING rice & beans , sun, heat, Creole and making jokes in Creole, Matt and being a double parent, Martha (Gabriela’s nanny and a good friend), negative images about Haiti (once when we were visiting Canada someone said "boy the water must really dirty there in Haiti". We had at that point already spent two years drinking out of a mountain rock- YES it's hard to have positive images of Haiti and it's not intentional but not knowing what to say is real for us and probably you too).

Gabriela- MISSING Papa, rice & beans, playing with water, Martha , SO many friends, ? ? ?

Matt- MISSING seeing Gabou grow, sharing my bed w/ two warm bodies, coming home to someone

now more from Wikipedia (no actually, University of the Pacific)...Tips for those who stayed at home when encountering expatriates like us:
1. Support the preparation of the returnees for coming home. This can be done even from far away.
2. Be prepared that a new person – somebody you don’t know – will come home.
3. Mark the reentry clearly for the returnees and for those who stayed at home.
4. Avoid criticism and mockery for seemingly strange patterns of behavior and new attitudes.
5. Be attentive towards your own expectations. Avoid to push the returnee into old roles.
6. Create opportunities for the returnees to report on their experiences. Listen carefully and try to understand their significance for them.
7. Acknowledge that the returnees have lost something: friends, a stimulating environment, the feeling of being special, responsibilities, privileges...
8. Encourage contacts to friends and institutions in the former host country.
9. Encourage contacts to people who have successfully gone through the experience of returning home.
10. Accept critical comparisons of culture and lifestyle – you might be able to learn something...
source: (Dr. Bruce La Brack, School of International Studies, University of the Pacific, Stockton, California (unpublished). Adapted by Peter Stadler, Dr. phil., Goldgasse 8, CH-4500 Solothurn.) www.larissa-becker.de/reverse_culture_shock.html

Update May 12th!

Matt spent his workday in the Haitian Ministry of the Interior with colleagues Toma and Guylene and G's lawyer where both of the important people signed the papers. Just 8 hours for 2 signatures! and including a frantic call to me asking me to e-mail some passport looking photos of the three of us for our file. Our file must be getting really big.

I went to the Canadian Embassy to start the VISA process which you can't start w/o the passport and we don't have the passport yet. . .
but Haiti is full of tomorrows and we have a meeting at 8:30 with THE DIRECTOR. If we can get to the Canadian Embassy by 9:55AM with the new passport in hand then we might get a VISA by tomorrow afternoon.

If not we'll have to get a US transit VISA as well as the Cdn VISA and fly whenever we get both of those.

At this point we are praying for deep breaths and God's will if not a time change around 10 tomorrow morning.

While it's true that THIS has taken forever, forever has flown by and Haiti has/is in this process giving us a living piece of her that, if things continue as they've started, promise endless adventure and discovery.



hope all is good with everyone, love G E M

ps photo is G and one month old Robenski. Isn't he sweet!?

TOUR DATES

G E M's on tour...
(We're so excited to see you all but we want to take it kind of chill because we're not used to the weather not to mention Canada, white people, and lunch that isn't rice and bean sauce and my driver's license is expired- if you want to see us, PLEASE let us know: greatspirit@fastmail.fm and we'll love to make a plan with you! )

May 14- G&E arrive in K-W

19-June 20- Esther: YTT (Yoga Teacher Training) 200 hour intensive.
Gabriela: hanging out with Eily, Matthew, Kaia, their parents other friends in K-W
Saturday May 24-visit great OMA (deLange) at Evergreen Terrace- if there are others in the area who want to meet us here, we are thinking about renting a room for the day, or just finding a park in Grimsby, let us know.

late June- travel to Winnipeg to spend Canada Day and Gabriela's birthday (July 2nd) with Jennifer, Zavi, and Will etc.

early July- meet Matt (finally) in Vancouver to meet Ronin, Audrey, and Charlotte, and spend time with them and their parents

mid-July- travel to a small town in Colorado to visit our friend Tanya Black (who was in our wedding) and her family Paul, Saffire, and Krimzin

later July- travel to Sarnia to Oma and Opa, the beach, bikerides

b/f mid-August- St. Catherines, Fonthill (to meet Isabel), Toronto

later August- back home to Haiti