These days have been filled with WHY’s (and princesses). Why is Canada cold? Why did God give us sleep? Why is that lady carrying that dog?
And then one day at dinner, this. . .
Gabriela- Mama, why does your skin burn in the sun and mine doesn’t?
Mama- Because God gave you beautiful skin that doesn’t burn in the sun.
G- Why did God give you skin that burns in the sun?
Mama- Because I was born in a cold country.
G- Why did God give Papa skin that burns in the sun?
Mama- Because Papa was born in a cold country. I said this ignoring the bright white and bald Haiti-born Niko bopping up and down on Matt’s lap...feeling my argument about to bust apart.
G- And Niko was born in Haiti, why Mama?
I paused. I paused in this enormous and tender moment, my heart filled with excitement about bringing Gabriela’s biological Mama to her. . . to this little girl and her big heart.
G- Why Mama? WHY MAMA? Gabriela exclaimed louder and louder.
Tell her, Matt said, go ahead.
Mama- Gabou, I started, you have two Mamas, one Mama who has skin just like yours and one Mama who is me.
Do you want to see a photo of your other Mama? Her name is Marie France.
And so begins the journey of questions, more questions, more thinking about this complex relationship we have with Gabriela, with her Haitian mama, and with Haiti.
PS. These photos of Gabriela and her two Mamas were taken as we left Haiti a week after the earthquake. Marie France and her family and friends were fine, but the neighbour's house had collapsed on their house so they, like many, were living in a nearby camp. Haiti is, for us, a place of miracles . . . the miracle of raising a Haitian child in Haiti, the miracle of finding her birth mother and finding her again and alive after the earthquake. Those are miracles. When we met Marie France outside of the camp she was staying, she asked please please could she come with us to the Domincan Republic. My heart broke in half (the part that was still left) and I couldn't say anything. We HAVE to do something about this inequality!!!!!!!!!!!! Young and intelligent women like Marie France have so much to offer their beautiful country and our world. These women need to be leading, not begging to get out. We've got to believe it and cut out the BS of giving and receiving with strings attached.
God help us.
PSS. Marie France is just like Gabriela . . . confident and lively with sparkles of excitement and intelligence in her eyes. You won't see all that here on the photos. Haitians don't actually smile for photos...they look serious on purpose.
