shoes

Dear Wisdome,

Easter in Dezam.    Easter in Haiti.   Easter here is bouganvillea and palm leaf hearts, music, the churchy kind and the Ra Ra kind, & homemade kites decorating walls and the clear pre-rainy season sky.   It's a BEAUtiful time of year, my favourite Christian holiday.   I am thrilled to spend these two nights in Dezam.   Niko and I pulled our mattresses off the beds over to the other side of the room so there's nothing between the stars and us.  

Tomorrow morning, Jesus rises ALL over the world.   Today I listened to a sermon on living like Jesus.   Walking in my neighbourhood outside Cap Haitian, I feel like I have the persecution thing all figured out.   Fear, intimidation, misunderstanding, fear, defensiveness...is this what the people sending Jesus on the cross felt? Jesus knew that THIS on earth is not the whole scene.   But it must have hurt a lot to see people acting like idiots.   I bet it hurt more than the nails.  I bought some new shoes in Dezam.  Pink crocs.   And a friend of mine sewed up my birki's nice and tightly.    Plastic in it's most unrefined state (oil) has been around for a long time.   Maybe Jesus feet touched some of this oil that made my shoes.   I need Jesus in my shoes.  

timelines

Hola Wisdom,  

The timeline looks like this:

January 2nd- Haiti independence day. 
July 1st- Canada Day
July 2nd- Gabriela turns 6 
sometime in early July- your conception date
July 28- I figured out we are pregnant
July 30th- Google says your due date is April 4th 
August 1st- your parents 14 year anniversary of XOXX
August 8th- we get our Extracycle bike in the post
mid-August- we take a nearly 270 km family bike trip from Winnipeg, Manitoba to Boissevain, Manitoba  
September 23- we fly to Haiti
September 30th- we tell Oma & Opa and Grandma & Grandpa that we're having a baby 
October 4th- your Mama turns 37
October 10th- Niko turns 3
November __ - 3 consecutive days of rain in Cap Haitian.   7 people die in the rushing water and flooding.  
early December- we decide to leave Haiti in January
December 31- Melissa Jonas does an ultrasound for us.   You keep kicking the probe that makes us see you.  
late December- we decide to stay in Haiti until at least your birth
January 10th- you and me run 2.6 miles with Run for Life Haiti
February 1st- an OBGYN in Port au Prince does an ultrasound on you.  His machine says you're due March 21st because of the size of your head and femur.   I encourage the doc to look at me and my head and my femur.   We are long people with big heads, afterall.  
February 1st- I start to wonder about your due date because of the femur and because I was never really happy with the conception date Google stated.
February- Stephanie confirms her plans to visit us and the police in Haiti
March 7- Oma comes to visit bearing diapers
March 22- I read on Google that A SPERM REALLY CAN HANG OUT IN THE FALLOPIAN TUBE before getting fertilized.   I heard this in high school figured it wasn't true anymore since that was 20 years ago : }   
March 24- we travel to Port au Prince and pick up Stephanie at the airport
March 24-28- we all have a lovely time in Port au Prince : ) 
March 25- we, your parents, agree on baby names for boy and girl   WISDOM(E) is your middle name.  
March 27- full moon on a cloudy night
March 28- I admit to myself that I actually was trying to people-please by birthing you on a schedule.   I CALL OFF ALL NATURAL METHODS OF INDUCTION.   We go hiking and take Stephanie along and have a great time.

(photo coming when EDH turns the power back on)     

What up WISDOM?

Dear Wisdome,

Getting her Police Clearance! The real thing! (Stephanie)
Eating mangoes, reading the newspaper (Papa)
Hanging with Rose Berlyn, watching too many movies, eating Andrena's diri sos pwa, sos kalalou (Gabriela)
Going out with Mama on the streets of P-vil and especially playing with Gigi the puppy (Niko)
Electricity right out of the wall most of most days, privacy!, Andrena made the bed (mwen gate wi!), Zumba at Energy, talking to sweet Stephanie on the phone anytime of day (Mama)
Sunny and clear with cloudy over colourful Jealousie this afternoon that have just erupted into showers.  Full moon with clouds (Port au Prince)

Wisdom and Luminescens

It's a gorgeous night in our neighbourhood in Port au Prince.  Noticeably more luminescent every night featuring an increasingly large ball of moon.  After at least 15 nights of challenging nights, I am feeling that this is going to be a good one.    After a few frantic hours this morning punctuated by on-the-hour-doses of blue and black cohosh, I decided to give myself and babe permission to not deliver the baby before Friday which is the day Stephanie leaves.   As it turns out as much as I like and CAN make things happen is as much as I LOVE the surprise and intricacy of natural cycles is as much as I LOVE it that this babe has it's own plan for landing on the earth with the rest of us.     THANK YOU for THINKING and PRAYING for us.  

So far since we've been in Port, we've enjoyed many moments including:   hanging out with friends (planned and running into people we know, swimming, eating greens, privacy : ), dancing Haitian folklore at the gym (be still my beating heart...folklore is AWESOME pregnant and pretty much impossible to do while holding a baby), belly painting, walking & not driving (!!!!!!!!), mangoes.   These gifts are many already and give us energy (in particular greens & folklore) to imagine returning to Cap Haitian on Friday.   To Imagine.   I'm already negotiating with Matt our three weeks in Cap, one week out.   (I so miss the bustle-ing and metropolitan life of Port au Prince.)     

One of the other ripe Mamas, Myrielle, IS IN LABOUR at Heartline as I write.   Every baby born at Heartline is another baby going home with her more empowered MAMA and family.   

Somehow green paint got onto the lens of the camera...how else would it have got on a mango?     

Bonswa WISDOM

If only all of life was as fun as being pregnant and dancing Haitian folklore.   If you every come and see me and are like "who is this old and tired Mama?" get me to a dance class.     Too fun! Too relaxing.   

Today, once we figured out who was boss (= both of us AND neither of us) things got a lot more fun (see post above).   I don't know that you noticed because you seemed to be sleeping away most of it.   A big highlight was ART.   Augustin MONA is the Haitian artist who painted you up so beautifully today.   Rose Berlyn is the melon painter while I was her assistant.   Mona says your destined to be a great artist.  No worries, that doesn't make you want to call you Destiny.   I LOVED the belly art AND I hope we can share more artistic moments together.   In the meantime, sleep and pack on a few more oz.   

Mona's improvisation

watermelon in a shepherd's purse

Dear Wisdome,   

In the middle of last night I was absolutely assured that you will be born this week.    On the occasion I went to look at the Foie Gras at the supermarket.   Foie is super rich in iron should I need iron.   My iron is 12.6 which means "no chance of anemia" but with the perfect labour of Niko, we did experience a hemorrhage which we are attempting to avoid this time with the friendly herb of Shepard's Purse and Petocin (whatever it is : }   

Today is a day where it's hard to be reflective and spiritual.   I feel at the same time totally poze and...frantic.   Actually that pretty much sums me up...often poze and often frantic.   We'll see how you turn out.   Please be okay and assertive as we try to coax you out these days here...now.  

I want you out and I want you to stay in.   I want to be loved and I want to be alone.   I want your Papa and I to agree on your name (we almost are).   I hate Haiti and I love her.   I want to hold you all day and night and I want to run really fast away from the wonderful intensity that is you. 

Tomorrow I might paint my belly again like a watermelon and go and by some other lovely fruit to be beautiful with you.   Or I might find the Haitian artist that we've been looking for to ground me again to this "ti zile".    Wisdom, the moon is looming large.         

Typically the lines do in fact go the other way.  

Word from the belly and below.

Dear friends, Stephanie is here!!! She is great and we are thrilled to have her here again.   She's likely sitting somewhere in a government office as I write hopefully making progress on obtaining her police record which will make it possible for her to work in Mozambique.    Imagine that, the Mozambique government requiring a paper to prove she's has not committed any crimes : )  She also agreed with the Mozambique authorities to only train and hire locals in the hospital and eventually maternity clinic she will be running.   Great idea!!!!!     

As for me and baby's progress, the words of the day are EFFACED...almost (just cm to go), PELVIC ROCKING, and some EPO.   Baby is posterior (which was a comfortable position for Niko too) and we're trying to get baby anterior.      

Otherwise, Matt's out looking at motorcycles with a friend who thinking of getting one, Gabriela is at her friend Rose's house around the corner, Niko and Aldine are chasing a ti pousen (little chick) around the yard, and rice is cooking in a pot.  

We also learned yesterday that there are two other women about to give birth at Heartline.   We need prayers for these women as well.   They look great, don't they.   I'm going to try to laugh like that tomorrow or sooner : )   Photo by Tara Livesay (I think : )  

Stephanie arrives!

Who knew Port au Prince has a Denny's!!

Greetings and a Prayer Request from Haiti

Dear friends and family,  On the last day of my first trimester, we flew to back to Haiti.   A tumultuous re-settlement here characterized by mosquitoes, rain, and boredom made us wonder if we would stay.  During Christmas holidays with friends in the Artibonite and PAP, the growing baby made it clear that it is here in Haiti where she/he wants to be born too, just like the big sister and brother.    Since then we've been kinder to each other (us and Haiti) and HERE WE ARE just about 2 trimesters later.     At noon today (Saturday), we will begin traveling to Port au Prince spending a night in Dezam on the way.   

Here we are in Corridon, another lovely spot in the Artibonite (photo by Thea DeGroot)  

Sunday we will welcome Stephanie at the airport.   Stephanie is OUR midwife extraordinaire who since Haiti has practiced midwifery in southern Sudan and Mozambique.    She'll spend 5 days in Port au Prince picking up a police record in Haiti and God willing, delivering our bambino with us.   She'll fly out Friday back to Las Vegas to continue preparations for moving to Mozambique in mid-April where she will be running a hospital!  

We would absolutely love to have another baby with Stephanie.   Heck, just for the acupressure she used during labour, I'd walk to Port au Prince.     But we don't NEED to.  There's a midwifery clinic near our house in Cap Haitien and a beautiful hospital with Haitian and foreign doctors nearby.   But, if we are in Port au Prince, we'll get to have the baby at Heartline which is a wonderful and growing midwifery centre in lower Port au Prince that you can read more about here: www.facebook.com/bethmchoul       We're ready for next week !!!!  March 27th is a FULL MOON.    We are praying that this healthy moon baby will be willing to be born on the 27th or the 28th.   Please join us in our prayers.  We know that God, babies, full moons, and a critical mass of praying folks are POWERFUL.   We will be posting news here on our blog: vangeestdegroot.blogspot.com   We encourage your prayers etc. ON OUR BLOG as we will make a book out of it.  

much LOVE from us here to all of you, Esther, Matt, Gabriela, Niko  










RIGHT: The belly enjoying some shade in Gabriela's forest in Dezam.   

Dear Wisdome

It's getting harder to call you Wisdom now that your personality is become more apparent...(we might end up calling you elbows).   Not that I don't think you're WISE, I just think you might be more than WISE, like maybe you're WISE and tricky.   Like, maybe I don't get to decide who you are.   

I know you can hear so you're hearing the belly commentary as we are about the neighbourhood.   At this moment in Canada, most 14-year-old young men don't notice pregnant women (or women over 25 years) and certainly, to generalize here, don't talk to them, certainly not initiate any conversations or yell out "Hey Mom" to his Mom sitting washing clothes across the yard "There's that pregnant white lady.   She's definitely going to have a boy don't you think?"    There was an 18-year-old yesterday who, as I approached said, "You've got 3 babies in there!"  "3 !!!"   Sometimes the commentary is funny and even kind.   Over the past days, i've been thinking you might fool everyone and be a girl.  Know that whoever you are we will love getting to know you, love you and learn to love you as you will us.     

clues

March 18th

Dear Wisdom, I wasn't thrilled when I spent my whole time in Mole not having a baby and I got back here only to try to not deliver you still.   My de-stressing, re-stressing, and languishing lasted most of today.   Then I got a grip of whose in control here and I remembered that I'm not totally not in control.   I am carrying you.  You're not carrying me...although you have sustained me in so many ways these long months.   I went to the roof which is simultaneously humbling and empowering...sitting under the stars.   

Clue 1- On Sunday, March 17th, I wrote to midwife Extrordinaire, Stephanie Williams, saying that I'd be ready for our deliverance in 10 days.   Today I realized that 10 days is March 27th when we'll be in Port au Prince with Stephanie.   I didn't have to run downstairs for the iPhone to tell me that March 27th is a full moon because I didn't know that it was but then, I knew it was/is.   

Clue 2- during the past 9 months, when I've tried to do yoga and sun salutations, it's always the moon salutation that come out  

Clue 3- from most angles, you look like a FULL moon

Clue 4- One of my favourite Aboriginal tales is called When Coyote was the Moon.   So when I realized you are about to be born on the full moon and in light of the fact that we can't seem to think of or like or agree pm a boy's name, I ran downstairs and said to Papa: what about Coyot (with a silent "e") for a name and he said "that's not bad".    Had I been more awake and lucid I wouldn't have dared suggest that we name you Coyote but then I wouldn't have heard Papa's response which is the most positive I've heard in response to my boys names suggestions.   Coyot(e).   

So there you have it.   In the light of the FULL MOON of March 27th or 28th, we will welcome you to the full light of life outside the womb.   We are excited and nervous.   We are ready and not at all ready.   

Boukan Guinguette

Dear Wisdom,

You're my hero. Thank you. We made it all the way to Gonaives, Anse Rouge, Marre Rouge, to Mole St. Nicolas and back threw Bombardopolis, Baie de Henne, Mon Pierre, Gonaives to our home here in Mon Rouge all in ONE piece.

While there, I didn't write you even once at least not on paper or screen.   While we were there, I was definitely believing that if I ignored you, you would not suddenly come out. So sorry about that and again, thank you.

I am pretty sure I was having Braxton Hicks (sp?) on the Monday before the Tuesday when we left for Mole but I convinced myself that it was you doing somersaults : ) Then in the hotel (Hotel Fritz) where we spent the night in Gonaives, I about called the whole trip off.    I stumbled on to the beach hotel at Mole (Boukan Guinguette) around 3 PM, family and tow, and said to the proprietaire, Julian, so do you really have a doctor in town?   He said "yes" he's Slovakian.   And I breathed out.   And we unpacked our bags.   We saw the doctor  saw him at the beach and thankfully not in any other place although he did look like he'd made a fine doctor.

So Mole was lovely although short on greens, rich in spaghetti, seafood, and daytime relaxation. The sand was incredibly soft and perfect making it sacrilegious to wear shoes and my often aching feet didn't ache once. The bungalows were built out of rocks, housed modern but simple plumbing, and were intriguing for their artwork by a local Haitian artist who style reminded me of Norval Morrisseau's because of the energy lines. They also recycled plastic bottles to serve cold water...miracle of miracles.

The nights were less relaxing but expected...I woke up frequently both counting down the nights before we could leave and counting up how many more nights we would indulge in the lapping of waves on the shore that put me back to sleep each time.

The water was several shades of blue but each seemed it couldn't be bluer and we all had a heavenly time in it.  

At 10:30 on Saturday morning (and with renewed trepidation speaking for myself) we got back in the SUV we'd rented for it's space and padding and headed for home. We left Boukan G. drove through Mole St. N. and once outside of town came to an abrupt and sudden stop on 3 tires and the rim of the front, right wheel.   The tire was gapping in two spots.  We called Julien from Boukan and he came with the torque and a strong Haitian man (excuse the redundancy "strong Haitian man").   We returned to Mole and continued our education on tire repair.     By noon we were back in the SUV and heading out.   The return was long and beautiful.   (I kept my legs tightly cross until at least Mòn Pierre.)   While I'm not sure I'd choose to be born in Anse Rouge or a post-earthquake camp, I can't help but love the dry, cactus beside ocean landscape of the north-west.  

We had dinner at the same hotel in Gonaives and arrived home 12 hours after we set out.   Exhausted but cured at least for the short term of our adventurism.

Wasabi Baby

I went to Potoprens to accompany Oma back here and bought Hot Wasabi Rice Crackers so that I can sit at my mahogany table and eat them while write my Pilates/Yoga lesson for tomorrow night. Then I moved on to a history book about Phaeton and Paulette with Prestige (Haitian beer) and bread & guava jelly on the side. I hope you like Wasabi baby or were you kicking for the Prestige from which I sipped lightly. I don't like waiting in traffic (can't stand it one bit) or in line at the bank but I do like waiting for a type of food that I might be craving and can't get at the local market OR even better waiting for the fruit of next season. I like waiting for a book like The Big Truck that Went By. I like waiting for an expected visitor. I like waiting for an expected baby. Waiting can be spiritual...it is mid Lent-season as I write. Learn to indulge in anticipation. Wait with me Wasabi baby.

Dear Wisdym

The name choosing has re-started in earnest.   This time Papa is leading the way almost every day coming up with another girl's name (Indira, Lunise, Magdelena).  But, then, we're not having trouble coming up with names for girls.  

As for me, I was born with a fascination for names, changed my own name several times in my growing years, gave myself a middle name, and once for entertainment invented an entire school directory listing names of the members of more than 100 families.   Age 13, I addressed my diary to Samantha who would be my first daughter.   

While in France I discovered new little gems like Cappucine and Maximillian, Senegal opened up the world of Muslim names like Safiatou, Ndeye, Maguette (that might be French), and Haiti presented a fusion of French (Jean Rémy), Catholic, modern (Rocky or Lovely), old-fashioned (Dieufèl, Bondyela), and invented names (Jeanida, Nifta) many which are only revealed by a birth certificate since most folks here have nicknames most often having nothing to do with their official first names (For example, our friend Marie-France has the nickname Cynthia, our former MCC cook Lusilya is called Kapab by everyone she knows because she is truly capable of just about everything.)     

To narrow down the options, I devised the following criteria to be included in a first name, a middle name, and the unwieldy Van-Geest-deGroot as last name: 

·      -part Biblical 

·     - a name that has meaning related to the time and place you are born 

·      -pronounce-able  in several languages (at least English and French) 

·     - beautiful, of course

·     - the meaning of your name to resonate with us and our values 

To the list Papa suggested that we take out any names with "S" since both of us parents slur our S's (although i'm pretty sure it's the S's in words that we slur).  Anyways, Niko can't currently pronounce S's at all.   So that would take out: Sofi, Soren, and Solendon (which I do love but a solendon is an extinct-? indigeneous Hispaniolan rodent).   Hélas! 

Dear Wisdom, my right, index finger got caught in my coconut oil making press.   When it happened it hurt incredibly and then i had a double panic thinking about you being inside me and the SOS response my body was having so i went and laid in the bed for an hour under the blankets because it's been chilly (in the low 20's and overcast).   After the finger-crushing everything else became hard if not impossible to do e.g. writing you letters, washing dishes, cutting tomatoes except for reading books to Niko : ) 
 In any case, you weren't born from the trauma and I still have a day to recover before my soap-making workshop on Saturday with SOIL.   

Mystery

Dear Wisdom, lately I've been thinking that I should be calling you Mystery because somehow I just feel like I know less about you than I did about your siblings this close to when we met you face to face. It might just be that I forget what it was like not knowing them like we know each other now. I've had a couple ultrasounds, one was official and in month 7 (January); I didn't drink a cup of syrup to find out if you have gestational diabetes; I didn't do a test to find out if you have Down Syndrome or another physical difference; We don't know your sex. What's more mysterious than a bunch of lab test is not knowing if we would, could, wanted to have a third child and then having one growing inside of me for 8 months.